A feeling of regret

What a bad end to my recruit life in the army. Just a day before my 24km route march and Passing Out Parade (P.O.P), I went down with a 39 degrees fever. I got an Attend C status, which means I had to go home because of my high fever. Knowing that I could not walk the 24km and attend the parade with my platoon mates left a heavy feeling in me. As I walked to the ferry terminal from the company line, the fact that I won't be able to go for the route march and parade kept running through my head. When I reached the ferry terminal, the feeling got worse. Parents walking down the pavement towards Tekong and the electronical board that reads: "Congratulations to Parents and Graduands." All these made me realised that I AM going to miss out on the route march and parade. Why?...Why do I have to get a fever at this time? This feeling of regret still runs in me til now and I don't know when it will go. 

benj